Read Scarf Lover first.
Last time, it was a long, impractical scarf. This time, it was multiple belts that hung fashionably but uselessly off the newbie’s waist.
The captain took one look at the shiny chains and changed his training plan.
“Today’s training is a free-for-all practice fight.”
The other team members turned as one to the newbie. The newbie blanched and frantically unclasped his many belts.
He grabbed a chair and smashed it against the door. The door still refused to budge.
“I will not be denied!” he roared as he clubbed the stubborn door until the chair shattered.
“That’s just a painting. The door is over here.”
He turned to see another door, identical to the first, but already opened.
Genre: humour, slice of life
She handed him a mug.
“New recipe. What do you think?”
He swirled the slightly viscous liquid and took a whiff. Chocolate, and something else. He took a mouthful.
“What is this?” He grabbed his water.
“Chilli chocolate. You don’t like it?”
“Thanks. I’ll try again. Be back a sec,” she dashed off.
He threw his things into his bag.
No way was he staying for round two.
~Continue the story in Round Two~
“The traditional way to greet your superiors here is to spin one circle and offer booze,” the redhead said.
His brunette colleague, who had just joined them, whacked the back of his head. “Stop teasing the new kid.”
To her, he said, “Please excuse him. How can I help you?”
“I’m looking for my office,” she said.
“The president’s office.”
The brunette raised an eyebrow.
“I didn’t know we’re getting a new PA.”
“President! You’re early.”
The president’s PA approached them. The girl nodded in response.
“I wanted to look around before I start.”
To the two men, the girl said, “As I was saying, I am your new president. We’ll meet officially later.”
Then her smile stretched into a grin.
“So when can I get my booze?”
It was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
“Your sunny disposition never fails to light up my day.”
They had teased him for too long.
“Morning, my only Sunshine!”
It was time to show them that the sun that shone also burned.
“Anyone seen my boots?”
“Where’s my charger?”
“I can’t find my… #$@&*! What’s it doing on the ceiling?”
Genre: slice of life, humour
When her friend said he wanted to show her a brassy lassie, this wasn’t what she had in mind.
“What do you think?” he asked.
The reddish-gold dog’s tail swished energetically in the air.
“She looks lovely.”
“Yeah, he is.”
She blinked. “He? You said you wanted to show me a brassy lassie.”
“Not the dog. His owner. You’ll see.”
When the dog’s owner arrived, they heard her from the moment she got off her car.
“Hello my gorgeous!” she exclaimed loud enough for the whole street to hear. Completely ignoring the two humans, the owner dashed at her dog. The light bounced off her many, massive accessories like a disco ball.
After much noise and gestures, the lady paid for the dogsitting service and left.
“What do you think?” he asked.
She couldn’t reply.
Genre: humour, irony
“Be careful of swimming butterflies and flying marbles,” their teacher liked to say.
Hie neighbour took his teacher’s words seriously, like he did everything else in life, and always kept an eye out for butterflies and marbles in even the most unusual places.
His cousin considered the words as just ramblings of a senile mind and lived life refusing to take their teacher’s favourite saying seriously.
As for himself, he acknowledged the advice, but otherwise didn’t change his lifestyle much.
He saw a few swimming butterflies and had a few close calls with flying marbles, but otherwise, he had a pretty normal life.
His cousin seemed to actively attract both the swimming butterflies and flying marbles. Not a day went by without him bumping into one or the other, often literally.
His neighbour, on the other hand, never caught even a glimpse of either despite actively looking for them.
This is something I wrote a while back. I wrote this piece because I wanted a story where there was a super ridiculous advice that was actually true.
They really needed to review their modus operandi. Ever since he developed the ability to travel through shadows, all his team did on rescue missions was send him in alone and crack jokes while he worked.
Right now, the topic of interest was his his catchphrase.
“I’m Sunshine. Agent Sunshine.”
“It’s a classic.”
He waited in the shadow under the bed until the girl was left alone.
“When the shadows of the world threaten you, remember that I am there. Who am I? Your sunniest shadow. Agent Sunshine.”
The guard finally left. He stepped out of the shadow. The girl let out a startled cry and hid behind a pillow.
“It’s ok. I’m here to help,” he said.
“Who are you?”
“I am the superhero who shines your way in the darkness. I am… Agent Sunshine!”
“A superhero. Your parents called me to bring you home. Let’s go.”
He slowly scooped the girl into his arms.
“Close your eyes and count to ten,” he said.
“What happens at ten?”
“You’ll see your parents.”
The girl closed her eyes.
He sunk into the shadows.
“I’m Agent Sunshine, and it’s counting time!”
When he got back, he was going to hang everyone upside down on the roof.
It’s easier for some than others.
Some people are just naturally funny. They’ll talk about their journey from their house to their school/workplace/uni/whatever and manage to get people laughing until they cry. They’re the kind of people who can make not-funny jokes funny.
On the other hand, there are deadpanners. They say things in a matter-of-fact manner, stuff that really shouldn’t be funny but for some reason cracks people up. The upside of deadpanning is that if no one gets the joke, it’s just like a normal part of the conversation. But if these people try to actually make a joke, things might get awkward…
Some people have a sense of humour that takes some time to get used to and might be offensive to other people. Black humour, racist jokes, stuff like that.
There are also people who aren’t funny per se, but are funny because of the situation they’re in. Think of batman gardening, or Kuchiki Byakuya (from Bleach) making a weird seaweed mascot out of sand and thinking that the mascot is the epitome of elegance, or Lord Voldemort giving a tour in the museum to a bunch of hyperactive school kids.