Blog Archives

Short Story: Missy Bessy

Genre: slice of life, family, humour

There was a dog in his house. Why was there a dog in his house?

“Dad, what are you doing?” his daughter asked.

He looked up from the barrier he had built around the dog.

“Containing the contaminant.”

“It’s just a dog.”

“Do you know how much dirt gets trapped in that fur? Not to mention the fur itself. Long-haired dogs shed like rain.”

“Missy Bessy doesn’t shed. And she won’t be here long. My friend will be back in an hour.”

“Then Missy Bessy stays in there for an hour.”

“Right there?”

“Right here.”

His daughter stared.

“You’re trapped too.”

“I’m realising that now, yes.”

“So you’ll stay there for an hour?”

“Looks like it.”

His daughter looked thoughtful.

“I’m going to eat your cake!”

“Wait. Not the the cake!”

But she was already gone.

“Nooooo!”

~End~

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Short Story: The Dignified Doorkeeper

Genre: fantasy, humour

 

He was on guard duty. Which meant no one came in and no one went out without his knowledge. He was the guardian. The door keeper. The ultimate-

“We’re leaving.”

He did not jump and he did not scream because dignified doorkeepers didn’t do that.

“When did you come in,” he blurted out.

“Not long ago,” said Shadow, who was outside fighting with the rest of the team just a few seconds ago.

“I’ll take the parents. You take the child,” Shadow said as she tapped the unconscious pair on one shoulder and lifted them into the air.

“What happened? Why are we leaving?” He scrambled to pick up the small boy.

“The monster called reinforcements. The rest of the team are relocating, and so are we. Let’s go.”

“Right behind you.”

It wouldn’t be appropriate to hum in front of Shadow, so he settled with thinking a suitably epic song in his head to suit his new role as the terrific transporter and still amazing guardian.

He almost took a wrong turn straight away but corrected himself before anyone noticed.

Excellent recovery. He deserved a reward when he got back.

~End~

Real title: The Dubious Doorkeeper :p

Short Story: Fashion Statement

Genre: humour
Read Scarf Lover first.

 

Last time, it was a long, impractical scarf. This time, it was multiple belts that hung fashionably but uselessly off the newbie’s waist.

The captain took one look at the shiny chains and changed his training plan.

“Today’s training is a free-for-all practice fight.”

The other team members turned as one to the newbie. The newbie blanched and frantically unclasped his many belts.

“Begin.”

~End~

 

 

Short Story: The Door

Genre: humour

 

He grabbed a chair and smashed it against the door. The door still refused to budge.

“I will not be denied!” he roared as he clubbed the stubborn door until the chair shattered.

“Boss. Boss!”

“What?”

“That’s just a painting. The door is over here.”

He turned to see another door, identical to the first, but already opened.

“Oh.”

“Let’s go?”

“Let’s go.”

~End~

Short Story: New Recipe

Genre: humour, slice of life

 

She handed him a mug.

“New recipe. What do you think?”

He swirled the slightly viscous liquid and took a whiff. Chocolate, and something else. He took a mouthful.

And choked.

“What is this?” He grabbed his water.

“Chilli chocolate. You don’t like it?”

“Too spicy.”

“Thanks. I’ll try again. Be back a sec,” she dashed off.

He threw his things into his bag.

No way was he staying for round two.

~Continue the story in Round Two~

Short Story: The Traditional Way to Greet Your Superiors

Genre: humour

 

“The traditional way to greet your superiors here is to spin one circle and offer booze,” the redhead said.

His brunette colleague, who had just joined them, whacked the back of his head. “Stop teasing the new kid.”

To her, he said, “Please excuse him. How can I help you?”

“I’m looking for my office,” she said.

“Which department?”

“The president’s office.”

The brunette raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t know we’re getting a new PA.”

“Actually, I’m-”

“President! You’re early.”

The president’s PA approached them. The girl nodded in response.

“I wanted to look around before I start.”

To the two men, the girl said, “As I was saying, I am your new president. We’ll meet officially later.”

Then her smile stretched into a grin.

“So when can I get my booze?”

~End~

Drabble: Magnet for Trouble

Genre: fantasy, humour

“My girlfriend likes to joke that I’m a magnet for trouble.”

He caught a scissors that flew at him, accidentally drawn by the magnetic powers he spontaneously developed at a very bad time.

“As of yesterday, she’s technically correct.”

~End~

Short Story: The Sun That Shone Also Burned

Genre: humour
Related to Help from the ShadowsContract Job, and Agent Sunshine.

 

It was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“Your sunny disposition never fails to light up my day.”

They had teased him for too long.

“Morning, my only Sunshine!”

It was time to show them that the sun that shone also burned.

“Anyone seen my boots?”

“Where’s my charger?”

“I can’t find my… #$@&*! What’s it doing on the ceiling?”

~End~

Drabble: Brassy Lassie

Genre: slice of life, humour

 

When her friend said he wanted to show her a brassy lassie, this wasn’t what she had in mind.

“What do you think?” he asked.

The reddish-gold dog’s tail swished energetically in the air.

“She looks lovely.”

“Yeah, he is.”

She blinked. “He? You said you wanted to show me a brassy lassie.”

“Not the dog. His owner. You’ll see.”

When the dog’s owner arrived, they heard her from the moment she got off her car.

“Hello my gorgeous!” she exclaimed loud enough for the whole street to hear. Completely ignoring the two humans, the owner dashed at her dog. The light bounced off her many, massive accessories like a disco ball.

After much noise and gestures, the lady paid for the dogsitting service and left.

“What do you think?” he asked.

She couldn’t reply.

~End~

Drabble: His Neighbour, His Cousin, and Him

Genre: humour, irony

 

“Be careful of swimming butterflies and flying marbles,” their teacher liked to say.

Hie neighbour took his teacher’s words seriously, like he did everything else in life, and always kept an eye out for butterflies and marbles in even the most unusual places.

His cousin considered the words as just ramblings of a senile mind and lived life refusing to take their teacher’s favourite saying seriously.

As for himself, he acknowledged the advice, but otherwise didn’t change his lifestyle much.

He saw a few swimming butterflies and had a few close calls with flying marbles, but otherwise, he had a pretty normal life.

His cousin seemed to actively attract both the swimming butterflies and flying marbles. Not a day went by without him bumping into one or the other, often literally.

His neighbour, on the other hand, never caught even a glimpse of either despite actively looking for them.

~End~

 

This is something I wrote a while back. I wrote this piece because I wanted a story where there was a super ridiculous advice that was actually true.

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